WEBVTT
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This podcast is for educational purposes only. The views and
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experiences expressed are those of the host and guests. The
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content shared here is based on research, personal experience, and
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publicly available information. In college, we spend years preparing for exams.
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We memorize, we study, we rehearse answers, but identity doesn't
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come with a study guide. For many students, discovering who
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you are can feel just as challenging as any final.
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The conversation you are about to hear reminds us that
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reconnecting with culture isn't about having all the answers. It's
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about asking the question sometimes for the first time. College
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students are constantly being tested, midterms, finals, deadlines. But what
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happens when the hardest exam isn't in the classroom. Maybe
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identity isn't something you pass or fail. Maybe it's something
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you keep learning. You are tuned into Dawn Autumn Young Voices,
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and I'm calling this episode Final Exam Identity, featuring Joseph
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Morales Thawn Autum. I'm your host, Tina Andrew. Today I
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have a young person who is wanting to share their
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story and their educational journey as a young person, as
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a student and the work that they do and what
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are their future plans, and also to bring some inspiration
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to any other young people out there that are listening.
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So I'm going to hand the mic over to him
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and give him an opportunity to introduce himself.
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Awesome, it's great to be here. I'm Joseph Morales, a
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member of the Otam Nation San Luci District. I grew
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up off the reservation and kind of an urban while
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my town is rule, but compared to the reservation, it's
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definitely urban. Went to high school. All my schooling was
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done in this kind of urban setting, and now I'm
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studying English and pursuing kind of that setting in tribal journalism.
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That's the work that I do with the Hillover Indian community,
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just to try and help promote indigenous stories for Indian country.
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So when did your journey began as far as wanting
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to tell stories or be in journalism work.
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It happened fairly recently. When I was in high school,
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I wanted to go to like a big university, like
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the University of Arizona was my dream school.
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Oh wow, it's kind of.
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Funny because now I'm at the rival, which is Arisota
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State but that was my dream school, the U of A,
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and I actually wanted to do psychology. I wanted to
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work in tribal health. But I graduated during COVID and
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there was a lot of other conflicts within me and
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you know, personal things. So I kind of took a
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year off and found my way to out them community college.
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Took the introduction courses there, and one of my English
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professors was kind of praising how good I am at writing,
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and I always had an interest in it, And since
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then I kind of slowly started building an education and
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found my way in journalism and especially tribal journalism. And
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that was about probably three four years ago, so okay, yeah,
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fairly recently.
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Yeah.
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So when we first kind of talked on the phone,
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I know, you talked about reconnecting with your roots on
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your autumn side. So it's something that maybe you didn't
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quite grow up learning or knowing, and it wasn't until
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you went to the autumn community college. So when did
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you decide I want to go to a college out there.
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Right, I grew up in a small town, but it's
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very urban compared to the reservation. I just understood that
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I had a lot of things at my disposal compared
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to some of my friends, I had to travel thirty
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minutes to the grocery store. But I always grew up
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not knowing my autumn culture and history. I had glimpses
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knowing at least like I'm an a old member of
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the nation, but that's really all I knew. And I
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think I even like growing up in school, I even
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like said our nation's name wrong. I'd say like Tahona Odom,
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which is a little but I wouldn't change that experience.
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But yeah, schooling, especially here, it was very diverse, but
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I would get picked on a little bit. I'd call
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like being mixed of Hispanic and Native American. I'd get called,
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like jokingly with my friends half breed or your mix,
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kind of you're not Native enough, you're not Hispanic enough.
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And I would just laugh it off, because you know,
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we're just joking around. But I would hold on to
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that shame. I think it really hurt me, but I
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just didn't know how to deal with it at that time,
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and it got worse in high school. But I'm grateful
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that I graduated when COVID struck because it kind of
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slowed down the world and I really had to address
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a lot of emotions that I was holding on inside,
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my anger, my frustration because I knew a lot of
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my peers were right secretly that Yeah, I didn't know
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my culture, my language, the history and of that. And
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I addressed it and I came content with it and
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started to regain confidence. But I wanted to just run
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away because the time, you know, COVID twenty twenty was uncertain. Yeah,
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so I wanted to list in the Air Force. But
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when I went through that process, I felt like I
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was just a number, just a quota for my recruiter. Yeah,
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and each recruitment process is different, of course, but that's
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how I felt. And I stumbled across tocc on aut
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Them Community College. They made it known to me that
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I was important and I wasn't just a number or
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a student. I was, you know, an Indigenous person that
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could build on their education. I went there and I
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had to take the language course, the history course. I
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always tell people that autumn, even though it was Autum elementary,
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that was probably the hardest course I've ever taken. But
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that's kind of my story and how I regained my
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culture and it came from the school. And you know,
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now I could pronounce some things an autumn, I know
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how to say our nation's name, right, So I'm grateful
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for that school.
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Yeah, that's amazing that you in twenty twenty. For a
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lot of people, it brought out a lot of things internally, physically, emotionally.
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And so that's interesting that you had that type of
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experience during COVID and what it did for you, but
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also coming to this realization of your own identity. So
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thank you for sharing that. And you know, TOCC seems
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like it's a foundation for a lot of people who've
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attended and have similar experience as you. Even though I
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grew up on the Nation all my well most of
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my childhood, and it's it's home, it's a place I
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still go back to. Going to TOCC was also an
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awakening for me to realize that, yes, this is our
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way of life, this is him Duck, and this is
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what I've been living all my life. But as an adult,
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it was there that I really learned to value the
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way that I grew up and not take it for
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granted and really apply the cultural aspects in my personal life, right,
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And so I started to grow an appreciation for that.
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And you know, when my mom was still around. After
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coming to that, my own realization took advantage of hearing
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her stories, listening to our family's history, digging a little
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deeper understanding what did the bite that ceremony look like
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when you were a kid, which is completely different from
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what we see today, which is really interesting. But that
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is where I really learned that I need to practice
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these cultural things to fulfill whatever was missing inside of
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myself as well. Right. Yeah, so when you came to
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that realization, you attended TOCCED.
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Were you there in person?
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No?
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I was not. I was online. Figured it is better
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to do online.
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Yeah.
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Even then being online that they still have a strong
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foundation and make you feel connected as if you were
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in person, which is just great to be a part of.
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They do amazing work there and not like my student
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email that I still have with eocc it's like every
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day I'm getting some newsletter, some event where it's made
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me drive out there a couple of times to check
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out the school and be a part of some events there.
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So they have strong communication and making every student, whether
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they're from the community or an indigenous relative elsewhere, that
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there were all the same family there. So they do
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a really good.
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Job yeah, awesome. So when you were learning more about
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your identity, I'm sure you have talked about it with
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your own family. If it's something that you didn't grow
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up doing, what is how are their feelings about.
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You learning more?
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And then maybe you're also teaching your own family about it. Right.
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They're super supportive because I'm the youngest of my family.
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My family history is it's pretty crazy. Not to go
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too much in depth because I feel like it's not
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necessarily my story. But my grandfather, Lawrence Morales Bad, he's
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passed on now, but he's where we gain our our
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Native American history and culture from. But history was crazy,
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and I believe he was given up to like adoption
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in California. So just from that point on, we never
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really been too evolved in our culture and history because
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we've kind of always been away from the nation. But
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like I said, going to TOCC helped me regain that identity.
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And my siblings, my older brother, my two older sisters,
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they're really supportive of me, and I try to teach
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them and they're very open to wanting to learn. They
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asked me questions sometimes even some words. I try to
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say that this is how you're supposed to say it,
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but yeah, it's it's a complex thing with my family
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because we are western urban, but I kind of take
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that knowledge and regaining my identity mix them together. So hopefully,
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you know, if I choose to have a family, my
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children will have all the knowledge that I've gained and
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they could build on that, which was my knowledge as
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a children was zero. So my family super supportive about it.
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That's amazing that you have that, just that support and
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they're able to listen and to just learn. And I'm
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glad that you're kind of, you know, initiating that for them.
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And I think that one thing that was also with
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TOCC I think we had and assign Yeah, it was
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we had an assignment and it was an not them
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language class and we had to Our final project was
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we worked on our emach our family tree, and that
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helped me to dig in deeper online and I was
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able to find like old census papers and also I
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revealed the name of my great grandmother on my dad's side.
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My dad passed a long time ago as well, but
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all my aunts and uncle were just my one aunt
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and all my uncles.
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None of them.
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Really remembered or knew the name of their grandmother, who
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was their dad's mom. All they knew about her was
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that she died at a young age in her like twenties.
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That was all they knew.
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And their grandfather, Jonas is who raised my grandfather. And
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the census revealed that, oh man, I can't even remember
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her name now, but we.
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Found her name.
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We found how old she was when she did past
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She was twenty seven years old, and we also found
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out that it was from tuberculosis in the forties, early forties,
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I believe, And so I was able to take that
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information back to my family and building our family tree.
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But it's just amazing that you don't realize your own
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family history like you think you know, but.
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You really don't. You really don't.
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Especially for me being like the youngest, I didn't really
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know anything because a lot of my my family members
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are older than me. So when I was able to
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finally like understand complex and deep stuff, everyone was already
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past that, and I was like, okay, so, well, it's
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kind of a little funny that you don't know you
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like you think you know, really, but it's just like
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the surface level of what's to your family legacies.
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Yeah, until you start digging.
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Find not some interesting things.
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I'm sure, yeah, for sure. And it's funny.
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It's like sometimes that's just how it is with families.
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You know, your grandparents, even your grandparents, you know, they're
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not going to tell you everything. And a lot of
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the times you just have to go and ask these questions.
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And it doesn't even have to be something or complex.
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It could just be as simple as like what was
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life like when you grew up? You know, what was
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your transportation? Like, you know, did you guys have a
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TV growing up? Or anything like right, And then they'll
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just open up and you'll learn something new about your
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grandparents or your elders.
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That's like with my one of my grandma's on my
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dad's side, I always look at it like because she's
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an elder, I'm just like, dang, she really got to
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witness like a lot of history that I learned about
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in books. She is a first first hand witness like
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seeing computers coming about phones, TV. And so sometimes I